THE GREAT BRITISH MORONIC OVERREACTION THUNDERCOCK FUCKSTORM

Gone are the days where I would sit at my computer - freshly-made, piping hot cup of tea at my side - and type, often whimsically, about whatever was floating through my head at the time.

I miss those days.

It all started to get a lot darker up in my old head, around the time of the Elliott Rodgers rampage.  That news story lifted the rock on a peculiar (not to mention dangerous) school of thought.

Seeing into that world, however briefly, unsettled me and knocked me off track.  It hit a point where every news story triggered either outrage, despair or sorrow - no middle ground, either one or a mix of the three.  UKIP clumsily trying to put on their marching boots; Russia/Ukraine; mysoginy; Ireland's inhuman stand on abortion; varying Tory policies in the works; Gaza; Ferguson.  All these situations broke into global recognition at the point when I was making a concerted effort to be aware of the wider world.

I made several efforts to be a decent cove and take a stand to say "Does this seem wrong to anyone else?" - to not stand by and say nothing.  I didn't feel better the more I did it, though.  I just felt hopeless instead.  The more I read, the bleaker my outlook was becoming, because as much as I wanted to speak out, there was very little I could intrinsically do.  

Before long, I was so depressed about everything that I reasoned the only thing I could do was take a step back & try to get myself on a more even keel.  So I did.  I backed off.

Then, the other night, The Great British Bake Off - a programme that is both filmed months in advance and edited, heavily - managed to make it look as if a woman had taken a competitor's dessert out of a freezer, causing him to bin it and walk out.*

Fucking hell, the internet erupted.  For the amount of outcry about a binned Baked Alaska, you'd have thought that a white police officer had gunned down an unarmed black teenager, or that years of fermented differing religious beliefs had resulted in days of persistent bombing and gunning down children, or - I dunno - the Prime Minister was gearing up to repeal THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACT.

I'm not one of the most educated people in the world, nor am I one of the most successful, but I like to think I'm the sort of person who wouldn't put a wrongheaded, badly thought-out, non-existent "controversy" ON NEWSNIGHT.  I would maybe have gone for something more relevant, such as the revelations sexual abuse in Rotherham, or Russia constantly invading Ukraine.  Just a thought.

I don't mind that a TV programme does a cheeky bit of editing to spice up what is essentially a food contest.  I don't mind that people might take to social media to share an "Ooh, did you see that?" while it's on.  What BUGS THE EVERLOVING FUCK out of me though, is that a level of outcry is reached THAT WE REALLY COULD HAVE DONE WITH WHEN *IMPORTANT* THINGS WERE HAPPENING - y'know, women dying as a result of Irish abortion laws; Robin Williams' suicide being reported in grisly, prurient detail by the press; families being bombed whilst hiding in schools; American police barging into a church being used as a triage centre during the riots in Ferguson, and confiscating medication being used to treat the effects of tear gas.  THAT SORT OF THING.

I mean come on, pick your battles.  The message I got the other night was "I shall maintain a dignified silence throughout the atrocities of the Middle East, Ferguson, Gaza, but YOU WATCH ME GET MY COMPLAINING HAT ON WHEN THE BBC MAKE IT LOOK LIKE SOMEONE FUCKED WITH A PUDDING!"

What a truly ridiculous week.

*The dessert was left out for forty minutes and then put in another freezer, but the freezers were having a bit of a difficult time of it.  I didn't even watch this AND HERE I AM POINTING IT OUT.

Doctor Who: Eleventh Doctor Episodes I Thought Were Solid

I am a fan of Matt Smith's Doctor.  In essence.  I enjoyed the way his Doctor was, he was great interacting with other characters, although some of his more monologuey moments didn't always work for me.  My other personal opinion is that many scripts were based on a decent enough premise, but between conception and the cutting room, it felt as if vital turning points had been edited out owing to time constraints (this became less of a problem toward the end of his tenure).

Anyway, for Who fans among you, here's a run-down of my favourite episodes:

The Eleventh Hour

Some good comedy moments, and the stillness of The Doctor eating fish fingers & custard after crashing the TARDIS was a lovely little scene.

Vincent And The Doctor

I'm not saying the episodes between that & this weren't good, but this, for me, was a proper tour de force, coupled with what could be described as a child-friendly exploration of depression.

The Impossible Astronaut/Day Of The Moon

A decent two-parter, some clever twists, and I enjoyed the introduction to The Silence, along with the novel method of bringing about their downfall.  A great way to set up the series arc, too.

The Doctor's Wife

This was a beautiful episode.  Solid plot, clever ideas, and Matt Smith's performance in this was masterful, and still makes me get teary every time I watch it.  I liked getting another look at the previous TARDIS console room as well.

The Rebel Flesh/The Almost People

Another clever idea, and explores the notion of morals in regard to the idea of cloning.  When is a person not really a person?  I liked the way this episode was done, and The Doctor's testing of Amy's viewpoint was a nice touch.

The God Complex

Praise Him.  Another brilliant idea, not underserved.  It was such a creepy setting, with a real emotional investment. I loved the way this played out.

Asylum Of The Daleks

A plot (or an ending to which) I genuinely didn't expect, and a generally good script.  Once again, this didn't feel like it had skipped anything important (unlike Victory Of The Daleks, which sadly I can't stand).

Cold War

One of the best episodes so far for Smith, on a claustrophobic nuclear submarine which has just mistakenly thawed an Ice Warrior who was brought aboard in a block of ice.  Tense stuff, well acted, and showing that Clara is an aid to the action, rather than a cause of unnecessary mishaps (my least favourite style of companion is one that gets bored and messes everything up).

Hide

Straight after Cold War is yet another atmospheric piece with superb performances from the whole cast.  Ghosts, pocket universes, and barely-seen monsters with unnerving movements (only downside in this episode is when the monster is shown in close-up, slightly ruining the effect of the creature).

Journey To The Centre Of The TARDIS

Completing a hat-trick of brilliant episodes, comes an exciting exploration of the TARDIS' interior (something sorely lacking from modern Who).  We finally see the swimming pool, plus a room of potentially intriguing "Easter eggs" in the form of old props, and the library.  Again, a solid plot which is pretty tight and not lacking anything.

Day Of The Doctor

The 50th Anniversary special is FUN.  It has enough weight to balance it out, and it is great to see Ten back in an episode, poking fun at Eleven's chin.  John Hurt makes an excellent, war-weary "non-Doctor" who believes himself to be unworthy of the title.  Although the War Doctor is evidently in existence because Christopher Ecclestone was unwilling to reprise his role, this "hidden" incarnation of The Doctor is a brilliant creation, and the special (and its accompanying mini episode) allows us to bridge the regenerations from Eight to Nine.  A good story, a fun script and some beautiful moments.

So there.  Nearly all the episodes had potential, but were let down by unsatisfactory endings, irritating character moments, or cringey ideas in general, so I wanted to make a list (as much for myself as anything) to see which episodes I thought really stood out.

Any disagreement?  Episodes you reckon I missed?  Gis a comment!

JM x