A Whole World Of Exciting

  Good day to you,

  It seems so long ago that I was smack-dab in the middle of an existential crisis.  It was a couple of years, now that I think about it - directionless, frustrated, and somewhat alone.  I knew what I wanted, but didn't know how to get anywhere close to it.  Bit by bit, that frustration and solitude have been beaten back, and I didn't realise until now.  (In fact, I had pretty much forgotten that period altogether, until the night before last.)

  I was playing the occasional open mic, and had been pointed towards a radio session with Moorlands FM (thanks to Paul, who is now playing bass in the band), which had played a massive part in properly reigniting my passion for music, and I started writing songs again.  I started to reconnect with myself, and the songs came fairly regularly.  I wanted to record again, I wanted to play shows, I wanted to really get my stage legs back.

  As the songs came, they started to fit into a theme, which was one of optimism for the future mingled with sadness at the immediate past.  These songs persisted, and would begin a process of me writing potential tracklistings for an album that I would never get around to recording, bar a couple of demoes.

  More songs came, superceding older, less articulate ones, and lists were rewritten and rewritten until it started to get ridiculous.  By 2012 I had about 30 songs, some more relevant than others, and still no demoes.  I also had regular bouts of listless near-depressions up until then (I hesitate to call them depression, although it was close - I have seen depression up close, in myself and in others, and am not keen to trivialise it), and regularly felt like I was in a catatonic limbo.

  What it came down to was that I had a glut of ideas, for albums, for EPs, titles, videos - you name it, I was thinking of it - but no good outlet for any of them.  My ideas had outgrown my scope to make them into a listenable thing, music was the one thing I could do, and I was fast struggling for ways to make it creatively satisfying.

  Cue Angela Lazenby, Paul Hancock and Matt Tyrer.  The band assembling was a first step - my songs became exciting again, the company and friendship was a tonic, and their ideas and talent were like a spark.  Then Angela & Paul got studio time at Tremolo sorted, and that first day in, last Saturday, opened up a world of possibilities.  Ideas that I have can be passed among the band members, and going into the studio means we can try them.  On Sunday, it dawned on me that the one thing that had been dragging me into a fug of nothingness was that I could think of, say, an introduction to the Record I Would Never Get To Record Properly, and there would be no way of making it.

  Today, I can text Matt and say "What about putting trombone on 'The Tallest Tree', and he can reply "And how about full brass section and a choir on the last chorus?"  This is a whole world of Exciting, isn't it?

John xxx